A family is missed - A Haiku.

 

Chaos to order

The sound of the lullaby 

A mother is missed

Facing turbulence

Hit the seashore together

A father is missed

Far away from home

Nostalgic dreams trouble me

Family is missed

A mother's lullaby with the soft caress brings peace to every melancholic mind. You don't need words to communicate with a mother, she understands everything unsaid. She feels it. She might not know the reason. But she knows just how to calm you down.

A father's strength is such a backbone to the child. He faces your share of waves too, chest first and falls on the seashore along with you. He gets you through every situation. No, he won't do it alone. He will do it along with you, teaching you to face life and it's surprises.

Homesickness has only one remedy... GO HOME!

This Haiku is written for The Heights of Haiku - April 2012. The prompt for today is 'SEASHORE'.

On my birthday, twenty two years back...

   

        I struggled my way out of death,
       To come out and turn blue.

       I looked at their teary face,
       And i just knew... 

            I would always to 'em be true.

I did not open my eyes, but i knew it was dark around me. I had been hearing a lot of voices, totally muffled... for a while now. I did not understand what it was, or what it meant. Total confusion surrounded me. But there was one noise or voice i could relate with the best. It was kind, loving and soothing. It spoke to me all the time. I wanted to answer something back, but i couldn't. Did anyone even know i'm in here? I wasn't sure of my existence myself.

I wondered how long it would take before i could open my eyes. I was bored. I just floated about all day. There was one person who never left me alone. It wasn't long before i realized i'm within her. Must be the effect of the badams she ate everyday for me. I could think..! Day by day, the bond grew closer. I knew her routine. I knew when she was happy, and when she was sad. I knew when she was excited, and when she was stressed. But all i could do was feel. When she was happy, she told me nice stories. I tried imagining what she told me, but i did not know what she was referring to. I just knew it made me feel good.

Sometimes i did not feel good for no reason. Then i guessed she must be sad too. I did not like it when people made her sad. I did not like it when she worked with me inside. It stressed her, but she did it anyway. When she was sad, she shed tears. She thought she cried alone, but she forgot i was there too. Her tears frustrated me. I felt trapped. I wanted to get out and tel her everything is going to be alright just like that other person always told her. I realized that person must mean a lot to her. Cos he tried connecting to me too. He spoke to me a lot in the evening when he came back. But then he would go missing for hours together. I did not understand why he had to go, cos when he was around he made her laugh.. and that made me feel happy.

That day i could hear her sob, and i knew he wasn't around.. that good man. I was helpless. I was frustrated and i kicked! Immediately the sobbing stopped. I could feel something cupping against me from the outside. So i kicked again. There was a sense of happiness and excitement outside. It felt great. I kicked yet again. And i could feel the tearful smile that crept on her face. Since then, every time she felt sad, i knew how to make my presence felt. I just kicked!

This unspoken, unseen bond grew stronger over the time until it was that day. Twenty two years back on this day, i found my way to escape the darkness. I realized it was time. But something stopped me. She was in pain, and i had to get out soon to relieve her. The cord joining me and her, the tube i got my yummy stuff from had wound around my neck three times!!! I must have moved around a lot in there. Every time i tried getting out, the cord squeezed my neck and pulled me back into the cozy shelter i had spent 9 long months in.

Being the fighter that i am, i did not give up. I could not. I had to be fine. I couldn't let that good woman cry more. Nor did i want the good man to console her while he felt sad too. She screamed in pain, while i fought my way through death. Finally after a long day, and innumerous attempts i took my first breath, and opened my eyes. The miracle happened! I was alive! I looked at her pale sweaty face. The angel. Then and there i promised myself to be the strength she never had, to be the power she never gained, to be the happiness she never felt, to give her the life she never lived, to bring her the smile she would never wipe off her lovely face.

I kept looking until i was carried and cleaned, and handed over to another person. The way he looked at me, i just knew this was the good man. The one to whom i connected to without the need of an umbilical cord. Our connection was much deeper, we connected through the love in our blood. His face showed me what happiness really looks like. I have never seen a person more happier and proud. He beamed so much i had to close my eyes! Before i could open 'em again to see the whole beauty of the situation, something happened and i turned blue.

Lack of oxygen... That's what happened! All the squeezing around my neck turned me into a Blue Baby. Soon after replenishing me with just enough amount of oxygen, i was all pink and went blink, blink, blink! I became the talk of the hospital, the lucky Blue Baby who fought her way outta death. It was all worth the happy tears from her eyes as she held me close to her bosom, and he held her. Today after twenty two long years, it's the First of March. It's my birthday. A day which always begins with Mom and Dad narrating the whole dreaded cum happy experience and ends with lots of Thanks to God.

On this day, I'm so thankful for the life i've got, the people i've met, the lessons i've learned and the folks i'll meet. For the friends i haven't met, Cheers!

       

A moment is all it took for him to be OUT of sight and IN my thoughts!

       (Chug) I could see dad's face (Chug chug) floating out of my sight as the train chugged, gaining pace (chug chug chug chug)..... A moment is all it took for him to be OUT of sight and IN my thoughts...Only moments before, he sat next to Me and Mom making sure all the luggage was safely chained. No sooner was he satisfied by the luggage safety, he eyed the male passengers around and i couldn't help but smile to myself. For i knew what would run in his mind, the next few minutes.

       A young, handsome boy would set his minds racing to the AGE-effect... and an older, bulky, moustachy, rogue man would set him wishing he himself had come along with us, or wish that there was atleast a single lady passenger around, apart from the two lovely women of his life. He'll try and judge them, but No, how can they be nice! "Why is that man lookin down to the luggage, is he gonna steal..?! Why is the guy looking at my daughter.. Why can't he mind his own business...?! I think He needs to be given a piece of my mind...! You better keep your thoughts to yourself mister...!! You harm them, and you're dead meat...!" A LOL moment to me and an AAAARGH to him! Haha..

       As i saw him fighting his urge to unchain the luggage and get us out of the train and take us back home with him, the bogie was filling up with the last-minute people hurrying around, forcing dad to get out of the train. Within seconds, his face pops up at the window. He seems happy there is a charging point in the compartment and asks me to check to see if its working. It surprisingly did.. So then started the instructions... (Take a deep breath) "DO NOT switch off your mobile phones... Keep it charged... Keep giving me missed calls now and then... Call me when you stop at stations... Make sure you have all your luggage when you get down... Should i ask one of these men to help you with the luggage...? Do not forget to keep an alarm... You won't miss the station right? Keep your handbags under your head... Don't go to the washroom alone at night... Do you need anything...? U have water and some food for emergency...? Do u need a magazine... Do u need chocolates... Do u need ANYTHING AT ALL...!!!!!!! ...  blah blah blah.... and more blah...." (All in one breath... phew!)


       This went on till i yelled, all irritated (We don't like being told what to do, do we? ;-) ) - "Will you stop worrying Pappa... We are not kids! Come onnn!".. No sooner the words were outta my mouth i regretted it, for i knew 'The Feeling'... The feeling of seeing your loved ones go. Cos it was not just him, those feelings... mutual... exactly mine! I saw his face drop as he said the typical parenty super-touchy one-liner.. "You will always remain my little girl!" ...Why do they do that...!!! It's hard not to well up after that. One cliche statement which no matter how many times, how many parents utter... always gonna be true to the core.

       Well, that ended with a lotto emotional exchange and a long blast from the hooter. That bringing me to where i began... (Chug chug chug chug chug)... A moment is all it took for him to be OUT of sight and IN my thoughts... My mind eye sees him walking back the station, taking his steps ever so slowly. He's exhausted, i can see... Physically, mentally..! I know that face. That face is proof how much we mean to him, how much he loves us. "Jaan chidakna"- That's what i call it.

       As he totters out of the station, he knows he will wake up to a lonely 'Tomorrow', to see no wife on the other side of the bed, he knows he ll make one cup of tea - not two, he knows he ll think of her beautiful fresh morning face as he drinks it, he knows he ll not find his daughter smiling in her dreams as he looks into her room before leaving to work, he knows he wont feel the same energy in the office as always, he knows he will call them more than he always does for no particular reason, but to just listen to them. He knows this is not just tomorrow, but for many tomorrows to come before they come back. He knows his better half will worry about him, till she sees him again, and he reminds himself to not make it obvious to her that he wants her to come back home, soon! He knows his daughter will miss him very much, from the moment she caught his last glimpse, as she crained her neck to the maximum she could between the rails of the dirty window.

       He is a man and men don't cry, he reminds himself as he wipes the one tear that has somehow escaped his strong eyes. He frames his last eye-snap he took of the mother-daughter duo, for keeps till he sees them again. His cell phone beeps and a little smile creeps on his face because he knows what it is. It's his daughter, as always, sending an "I LOVE YOU PAPPA... I WILL MISS YOU MORE!" message. Thinking of his little girl, he joins the crowd which has god-knows how many widows, widowers, divorcees, orphans, childless, unfruitful and abandoned people. He feels lucky and thanks God for his wonderful family, as my mind eye shuts and drifts off to sleep... only to meet Him there, Again...! Amen.