Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

When sad, even tears leave you!


 Crude diamonds spotted,
Polished them with all my might.
Knowing throughout, that all my toil,
Reaped by someone, but me!

The moment i owned you,
Was the moment you weren't mine anymore!
I rather see you in soft hands,
A sophisticated neck or two.

Yes i loved, yes i laughed,
Yes you believed, yes you loved me back.
But then you left, and you forgot,
But i smiled, and for you i prayed.

Heart, the owner of my eyes,
Said a different story with my tears.
Confused, whether happy or sad,
But drop by drop, they left too!


After reading this poem, if you thought this was just another sad love poem, read again... think again!

Hint - Ask yourself what is love? And don't settle for the cliche.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

The Mystical Mountain of Love.

Courtesy
 
A step to the left, two to the right,
They danced their way out of the crowd.

Taking that huge leap together,
To the faraway mountain that beckoned.

What awaited was a mystic land,
Silence guiding through the labyrinths.

Hand in hand, they ventured the wilderness,
Lost in the moment, fearing no beasts.

Treasure found in the beauty,
Destination was tagged nowhere. 

Happiness in seclusion, joy in peace,
Music found in each other's breath.

Paradise is in togetherness, they declared,
Promising their love with a kiss.

~~~




Tired of facing problems for being a woman?
Tired of seeing the women in your life suffering?
Here is a chance to make a small difference,

Pen is mightier than a sword. So lift yours and join us in this movement - RAPE.

Visit this link to know more details about this initiative - 
RAPE : Rise Against Punishable Eccentricity 



Friday, August 2, 2013

That message in my sunset breeze.

Courtesy

Late in the evening, long after sunset,
That cool breeze comes along with a message.
Loving whispers it carries, and plenty of kisses,
Sweet to the solitary heart in the night's passage.

Novels are written, fantasies explored,
Distance brings romance even out of a crush,
Beauty lies in the imagination,
Mind is your canvas, thoughts - your brush.

Sketching the dream, shading that secret,
Painting perfection, a task always easy in the head.
Reality dawns, come crack of first sunlight,
And then you go back sulking into your bed.

~~~






Tired of facing problems for being a woman?
Tired of seeing the women in your life suffering?
Here is a chance to make a small difference,

Pen is mightier than a sword. So lift yours and join us in this movement - RAPE.

Visit this link to know more details about this initiative - 
RAPE : Rise Against Punishable Eccentricity 

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Reassembling you...


In the whispers of a rainy night, crickets give still company
Rustling leaves outside flip my rustling pages backwards.

Revisiting broken land, an idea never so good,
Reaching those cold silver gates, take no step further.

What lies hidden in that beautiful stretch, is an ugly memory.
The unexposed fangs of the shining monster.

Lose the key, and run back to safety,
One click of the lock, and a land of no return.

 Every night I visit, those sullen lanes of no hope,
But the faraway glinting eyes of the monster, still a beauty!

I sit just outside those strong gates, and look deep inside,
The keys dangle in those pockets, but hands dare not move.

The mind holds the key, while the lock calls out to my heart,
Possession of thoughts, inheritance of a lifetime.

Days to months to years, key slips down to the heart,
Opening the lock never appealed so much before.


Before I knew, I ran into the beyond of the past,
Fell again, bruised again, brushed again and I ran.

Out of all the preciousness, locked for ages,
Was the most valuable possession, turned stone over time.

It speaks a language common to commoners,
But mum to me, mad at me, stone for me!

And will always be, until it breaks, it crumbles,
And I will still be there, picking those pieces like I once did.

From those burnt pages turned to ash, I shall polish you.  
Those words still haunt in every smoke.

Reassembling you, is letting history repeat.
Reassembling you, is like killing myself.

Reassembling you, is scheming my doom.
Reassembling you, is a mistake repeated.

But reassemble you, I will.
Because, I love you still.



Thursday, July 18, 2013

Fireflies complete my magical epiphany.







~~~


There have been some moments in my life, when the magnanimity of things/people around me made me feel so little. Those were the moments I forgot who I was, and rejoiced the miracle of life!


~~~









The blinding fog, the unraveling secrecy,
Who's to say I cannot read your presence.

There are sparks of my golden hope,
But by the friction of those dark stones.

I see light in your shadow,
Spot shade in that brilliance.

In those eyes, I see my poem being woven,
In that heart, I see my dreams come true.

An unspoken language you speak to me with,
Spoken communication never touched your mark.

Holding my hand and leading me,
But letting go when it's my turn. 

Letting me shine in the enchanted land,
Hiding your silver armor behind that golden tree.

Listen, someday just walk along in silence,
Let that breeze send my thoughts yonder. 

Let me discover my restlessness in your calm,
And find my solace in that roar.

Imagination completes that last missing piece,
Fireflies complete my magical epiphany.



To read my mystical travelogue about my hike to DoodhSagar falls, the experience which inspired this poem, please visit -

Doodhsagar Falls - When I fell for the fall !!!



Saturday, May 26, 2012

Do and think not.. Think, then do!




 Moments of past joy
Hovers over present gloom
Nostalgia seeps

Bundle of sweetness
Precious memories bring smiles
Beautiful bubble 

Love for past
Present mistakes haunt
No closure

Do and think
Repent regrets, so,
Think, then do!






This Haiku is written for the Haiku Heights. The prompt for this week is 'JOY'.


Thursday, April 19, 2012

Heal for your honey - A Haiku.


Not sting, not attack
Buzz is what it's all about
Work for the honey

----------------------------

Pain by the loved stings
But move on, if not for you
Heal for your honey




Honeybees are the one of the most busiest creatures i've heard of. Disciplined and hard-working. They buzz all the time to work, to collect honey. They don't mean to sting or attack, do they? For when they sting, they die. So i wish we din't make them feel threatened! Anyway, from honeybees i learn not to work by stamping others on our way up. Work to achieve your goal in the right way, work to be happy. What is working if you don't enjoy it, and what is success when you can't share it with the people who helped you all the way up?

Nothing ever goes according to our plans always. God and time have their own clock running for us. So when unexpected events occur involving our loved ones, especially the ones which hurt, we are shattered. It hurts, but do we sustain that pain forever? Why? A true person who loves you would never in the world wish for something bad to happen to you, whatever the situation be. So if not for yourself, heal for the one you love. Heal for your honey.



This Haiku is written for The Heights of Haiku - April 2012. The prompt for today is 'HONEYBEES'.




Saturday, April 14, 2012

An aura adorns that soul - A Haiku.


Disturbed heart seeks ease
Angelic drops from heaven
Cleanse wild agony

A dribble of love
With scent of happy spirit
Now, aura adorns that soul

Light shines from within
The heart, not dark anymore
Beats young with new life


When a young heart immerses itself in pain, it seems like the end of the world. But the wise know that though the stimulus of this melancholy is triggered by something/someone, the suffering is self inflicted. Pain is unavoidable because we are humans. We are born with a beating heart which feels, and pain is a feeling. But suffering? That's a choice i think. The moment you decide to stop suffering, the darkness filled in the heart is flushed out, filling it with bright light and new hopes. It beats again with a new zest for living a life. 



This Haiku is written for The Heights of Haiku - April 2012. The prompt for today is 'AURA'.




Thursday, March 29, 2012

Kailash Kher, Voicing the divine in all its glory.

KAILASH KHER - The name in itself sounds divine, doesn't it? I wonder the person who named this great artist knew at that time, that he would some day in future play a part in helping mere mortals like us experience KAILASA through his music!


Read on my overwhelming emotions towards this great singer as i saw him perform LIVE in concert as a part of our cultural fest in college.
Click here to read the entire article -> Kailash Kher, Voicing the divine in all its glory.


 At the end of the show, i found myself humming -

"Tune kya kar daala, marr gayi main, mitt gayi main.. ho ri, ha ri.. ho gayi main... TERI DEEWANI... DEEWANI..."

Kailash Ji, that one was for you! :)





Thursday, February 16, 2012

In hindsight from the beyond.

She looked beautiful as he saw her sleeping. The sun had risen just enough to cast a breath-taking glow on her pale face. She looked perfect, in her satin blue nightgown. As the wind gently caressed her golden hair. She moved just a little and snuggled inside her white cover. It was cold, and the window was open. He left her side to go shut it only to realize that the stopper had been broken for quite some time now. He remembered her bickering to him about it almost every evening when he came back home, for a while and then she stopped. He never thought of the chill it gave her since he had been spending most of his nights in the study or fell asleep on the couch as he flipped through his files.



He came back to her side, and wished he could cuddle her up and provide some warmth. He wanted to but he couldn't. No, not because she would mind, not because his ego came in the way, but because he was dead! Not just dead from the inside. But he was really DEAD! He had been in a car accident on his way back home on that fateful night more than a month back. He had just left the office late in the night and as he got into his car, he recalled he was supposed to call a client by midnight and let him know that the deal was on. He had then gotten into the front seat and sped off with one hand on the steering wheel and one on his phone.

If she had been in there with him, she would have not let him drive without his seat belt on. She always fussed about him talking on the phone as he speeded. How much that pissed him off! It always ended up in petty arguments. But she wasn't with him that day, and he did what pleased him. As he spoke into the phone and drove along the highway, he had missed a traffic signal only to be hit by a speeding bus from the right which sent him colliding into another car and things had gotten deadly ugly. And the last thing he remembered was an unbearable pain surging through his head before everything went blank. Later when the ambulance came, he was declared dead on the spot!


Courtesy
He had seen himself being carried away. The medics trying their best to bring him back to life. But it was too late. As he looked on to his lifeless cold body on the hospital bed, he had the sudden urge to look back. There was no one. But within a split second, the door was pushed wide open and what he saw was a sight more pitiful than his own. It was her! His wife.. his beautiful wife. He smiled at her, but she did not smile back as she rushed through him to throw herself on his lifeless body.

 She wailed, she howled, she screamed as tears welled out non-stop from her red eyes. He knew she must have been crying all the way from home. He wondered who had informed her about his death. He did not wish to imagine how hard it might have been for her to receive the unfortunate news. He thought back to the times he did not pay heed to her words, the times she fought him for his own good, for his own safety. He thought of her deep concern for him, the times he stood her up for movies, for restaurants, for events. The times he did not pick her up while she waited.

Suddenly as he kept looking at her, he found all the blood rush off her face. He realized she was looking into his mobile phone. He went to stand behind her and tried to see what was bothering her. He read the message from the UNREAD folder she must have sent him earlier today which he had not bothered to read. It read- "Come home soon honey. Good news!" He wondered what the good news was, and as he looked at her again, he just knew it!!! For she had one hand on her belly as she lay her head over his body and cried harder.

His thoughts went back to the day when he came back home a little early, in time for dinner during which she had shared with him her deep wish to have a baby, that she felt lonely and did not feel his presence anymore. She had hoped having a baby would be a good idea, given that they were doing very good financially and the fact that she was a housewife. He had agreed for once. How he wished he was alive now! He wanted to hug her and tell her that he loved her and the little life within her. He wanted to cry too, but he couldn't because he was dead.

Courtesy
 He snapped out of his daze as she stirred in her sleep. He had spent every passing moment with her from the time she had left the crematorium. He had seen her laugh thinking about their time together, he had seen her cry thinking of the life they could have had had he driven carefully. Now as he stared at her lovely white face, he found something missing. It did not take time for him to figure that out. Her smile! It was missing. It had been missing from a long time now. The only time she smiled now was in her sleep when she dreamt about him. He knew she preferred sleeping longer these days because that was her only way of being with him.

He knew that he had lost his chance of being with her, of loving her as she deserved. He knew she had to move on.. for her happiness, for their baby!  He bent over her one last time, and kissed her belly as he left forever. Just before he left, he turned back. And.. she smiled.

Courtesy






Tuesday, February 14, 2012

She loved like she should, but lived like she shouldn't.

As she lay down on her bed after an exhausting day, she closed her tired eyes. They burned as she shut them. But along with the burn was relief. She was back after a long day at the plaza. Throwing her belongings on the already messy chair, she changed into her PJs within a few minutes. She headed straight to the bath to splash some cold water on her pale face. Ahh! That was very welcoming. She tiptoed to the soft mat just outside the bath which read 'YOU'RE THE BEST', and let it soak with all the excess water from her not-so-happy feet. She then carefully stepped out of the mat making sure not to slip on the smooth white floor. As she took yet another step, she looked back at the mat and snapped, "Yeah Right!"

Reaching for the switchboard, she turned off all the lights, only after parting the curtains aside. Her day was getting darker. She didn't like it. It reminded her of something or someone. She shook off the thoughts as she reached for the topmost shelf where she kept her candles. She had never used them before. It was a parting gift from her friend. Thinking of her brought a smile to her face. The times they shared gossiping and giggling into the night! She longed for a night like that. She could gratefully use one of those like.. right now! Sigh. Switching off the noisy fan, she lit one of the candles and placed it on her table. The candle cast an eerie feel to the room. But she didn't care. There was much to ponder on than be scared by the shadow play on the wall, thanks to the still slowly rotating blades of the fan. She slumped into her bed and closed her eyes. 

Courtesy
And there she was, lying down without moving a hair. Her eyes were thankful to rest after a long day, but not her mind. She prayed for some quiet, some silence, some peace! Mind you, everything around her was noise-free. But within her, there was chaos.. of the highest order. She literally SSSHHHH'd her thoughts with a helpless hope that it would work. But no, it didn't. The mess was getting messier by the second. The idle mind wasn't helping. She needed a good, dreamless sleep. No music could calm her now. The only music able to calm her burning nerves was a voice which no longer resonated with her existence. 

Her thoughts carried her back into the day when she sat at the reception of the huge gift house she worked at, wearing a Red T-shirt which read, 'MAY I HELP YOU?' Her job was to smile at every customer who entered and every customer who exited. And sometimes manage the little kids who didn't let their parents shop. Well.. she didn't mind it as long as it paid her bills. But there she was today, plastered with a fake smile on her face. It was the Valentine's the next day, and it was her favorite day of the year. But not this time. For the first time, she hated her job. She did not like helping every other soul who entered wanting to buy the best romantic gift for their valentine. She hated listening to them describe their love life. At the end of the day, she had sulked and snapped at people enough to get herself fired. 


She marched out of the plaza, trying to stop her tears that were now spilling out of her eyes which had now turned red. It was matching both her face, as well as her T-shirt. She rushed to the nearest washroom, and grabbed some tissues out of her bag. She looked like a mess. The sight of her in the mirror tortured her eyes. She hated RED today.. everything about it. Her reflection read 'MAY I HELP YOU?' and she laughed at the irony. She tore down the hearts stuck on the corner of the mirror inviting people to join the Valentine's Day party. It read, 'LOVE IS IN THE AIR'. Then why was she not feeling it. She stormed out of the building and took the next bus back home.

She snapped out of her thoughts as her cell phone beeped. The light from it blinded her eyes in the darkness. She hoped against hope that a familiar name flashes on the screen. She squinted into it finding yet another Valentine's day offer advertisement. She silenced her mobile, frustrated and threw it under the bed. She knew she would be in bed all day tomorrow curled up in the sheets. She didn't want to sleep yet, cos she knew she would dream of him. But she didn't want to stay awake either, cos she knew she would think of him. She cried loudly into her pillow, but all that could be heard was a muffled holler.

Consoling herself, she walked to her window trying to find solace in the silent night. She half wished there was atleast a single star shining for her in the sky. But alas! Even the stars had forsaken her tonight. She stared out into the nothingness, and then her ears caught some music probably blaring from another window far away. And just when she was about to give up guessing the song, it got louder.

For once I'm at peace with myself.. I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long.. I'm movin' on!!!
  
I'm Moving on by Rascal Flats. It was like someone was playing this song just for her. Whoever was playing this song on the eve of Valentine's had to be going through the same as her she thought. And suddenly she did not feel alone anymore. Suddenly she didn't feel anything. She searched her mind, but there was nothing. There was peace. There was silence. There was melody. 

At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me.. And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone.. There comes a time in everyone's life.. When all you can see are the years passing by.. And I have made up my mind that those days are gone.

Courtesy
As she continued to stare out into the darkness, a smile crept on her face and her eyes grew wide. She had just witnessed a falling star. She closed her eyes, joined her hands, held em close to her heart. She wished, and when she was done, she was content. She wished for him. She wished that he celebrate his best Valentine's Day ever, even if it wasn't with her. Content with how the day ended, she slipped inside her blankets and fell asleep the minute her head touched the pillow... while far under her bed, at the strike of twelve her phone blinked violently with that familiar name she had wished to see earlier. But only this time, she wouldn't regret.




Saturday, January 28, 2012

When life gives way too many lemons, make pickles!

Life gives us a million chances, and we don't take them. But when we need one, they're exhausted. They say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But what if it gives us way too many lemons? Then what... Make so much lemonade that is enough for you to drown in? I'm on a negative note here. Doesn't mean i'm outta my positivity. As i write, i know how pessimistic this sounds. But i guess its ok to feel so once in a while. I don't like the sad smiley. But everyone's proof that life compels us to do things that we don't like sometimes. Well.. :-(

No good... So let me take a positive turn to this negative beginning... If life gives way too many lemons... forget lemonade, make pickles! ;-) My grandmom has awesome lemon pickle recipes. Super yum. Reminds me of life again... Bitter-sweet-sour symphony?!

Enough of life musings. Gets people bored i know.. Have you ever made a promise to someone, without them knowing it? I did.. I've observed a ridiculously long list of promises i've failed to keep. Hurting someone's feelings hurts you, when they stop hurting... And then it's too late. So my remedy... I made a promise i intend to keep, but without telling it, so i wont jinx it! Cool haan? I donno where these ideas originate from... I'm too good! But not good enough yet... I will be, when i am successful in sticking up to it. What's meant to be will find a way. I repeat.. What's meant to be will find a way. And quoting from Robert Frost's poem 'The Road not taken',
  
                                                    "I took the one less traveled by,
                                                    And that has made all the difference." 


Courtesy: Google Images


That's what i exactly intend to do. Take the way less traveled by. When things go wrong as you constantly do the same mistake over and over, it's time you learn to let that go and find another way. I've got faith, and i've got belief, and i've got love. And i do realise how powerful these weapons are. I am gonna win this race with myself. With life pushing harder every second, you've got to build enough will power that, when it gives its last bad push, you survive it, and push it back once and for all... for good!

All is fair in love and war.. but when there is war in love, everything's dark! Then again, when there is love in war, everything's perfect. But when there's no love, and there's no war, there's a Battle...! Battle in your head between the right and the wrong thing to do. By experience, the easy way is wrong, and the difficult way is usually right... Whatever the scenario be.

So make that promise, make that change, and go get it...! Period.




Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Given a chance, i would re-live being grandpa's sunshine again!


In today's super-speedy life, we find ourselves not having time enough to say Good Morning to a 'news-paper-reading' father, or give a mother her well-deserved hug as we leave home only to return late. There is no time to touch the feet of the 'wise-old' gramps, who just sit and watch each generation get smarter and weirder, or say a simple heartfelt I LOVE YOU to your partner, or for that matter, kiss your child Good Night!

When such a packed life poses a question like- "If you had two extra hours in a day, how would you spend it?", like most people; i find myself in a dilemma...! A grave one.

There's a part of me that wants to just laze around and have fun, but then there's another which sends me to a guilt-trip every time i sit idle. We have this strange disease of procrastinating chores just to enjoy more laziness, or to catch 'just-one-more' wink of sleep! And then we find ourselves complaining about lack of time. This amount of time we choose to laze around- being jobless, is compensated by cutting on quality time meant for the people we love. 

Ever wondered why the loved ones are the ones to face this harsh cut? I think i know why. It's cos we take them for granted. We know, that no matter what, these are the people who will always BE. Loved ones are those to whom a small act of a happy deed, however insignificant it be, their happiness is amplified... ten-folds. This reminds me my vacation at my grandparents' home as a kid!



 My Grandad, whom i fondly call 'Ajja' woke up early morning, everyday, same time, from the same side of the bed, traced the same set of steps before stepping outta the house to pluck flowers from the same plants, to be offered to the same temple soon after. No kid likes waking up early, especially when its a holiday! I was no exception either. But i had a strange fascination watching Ajja go around the home, pluck just one or two blooms from each plant in the compound, making sure there are no buds harmed, treading through them ever so delicately. I followed him holding the same basket in my hands as carefully as i could. It made me feel loved and special...! He taught me all the names of the flowers, and their behavior in the process. I wondered what it would be like if Ajja taught at school! Wishful thinking?!

The dirty, muddy me after the whole garden survey would be greeted in with a pretending-to-be mad mom who would quickly send me to a quick bath as all the super gross clothes piled up in the buckets. Wonder what she would have done if not for Surf Excel. Oh, i so loved the fragrance of the fresh clothes after bath!




Fresh and all cleaned up, I diligently followed Ajja to the temple too, every single day. He told me stories about the God in the temple. I wished his stories never ended. I watched the priests give him the special Prasad everyday, the privilege earned over years of persevered visits to the temple! Every vacation offered me the same routine, the same path, the same turns, the same temple and the same stories. But never-the-less, i lovvvvd it cos it was OUR THING! This is one of my best memories from the chapter of my childhood.


Years passed, i grew up... not a kid anymore, they grew older too and shifted homes to live in a flat. Things were never the same again. Vacations were never the same again. The bond was same, but it lacked the little things that made it more special. It lacked spending quality time together. The magical journey through the fairyland of the little princess with her wise old King-Ajja every morning was soon compromised for the time spent watching late night movies, 24x7 internet, chatting with friends.. transforming the lil morning sunshine to the Queen of the night!


This being just one incident from one chapter of my life, i am sure there are lots i can list as an example. What i am trying to tell here is, let's do little things that bring joy to us and our loved ones. Lets indulge in quality time with them, for.. one glowing smile from them brightens our day, so why not give them that little part of our life that they deserve. Given a chance, i would love to spend more time doing things with my grandparents... my parents... my loved ones. Strengthen the bond... become Miss.Sunshine again...!



 

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

A moment is all it took for him to be OUT of sight and IN my thoughts!

       (Chug) I could see dad's face (Chug chug) floating out of my sight as the train chugged, gaining pace (chug chug chug chug)..... A moment is all it took for him to be OUT of sight and IN my thoughts...Only moments before, he sat next to Me and Mom making sure all the luggage was safely chained. No sooner was he satisfied by the luggage safety, he eyed the male passengers around and i couldn't help but smile to myself. For i knew what would run in his mind, the next few minutes.

       A young, handsome boy would set his minds racing to the AGE-effect... and an older, bulky, moustachy, rogue man would set him wishing he himself had come along with us, or wish that there was atleast a single lady passenger around, apart from the two lovely women of his life. He'll try and judge them, but No, how can they be nice! "Why is that man lookin down to the luggage, is he gonna steal..?! Why is the guy looking at my daughter.. Why can't he mind his own business...?! I think He needs to be given a piece of my mind...! You better keep your thoughts to yourself mister...!! You harm them, and you're dead meat...!" A LOL moment to me and an AAAARGH to him! Haha..

       As i saw him fighting his urge to unchain the luggage and get us out of the train and take us back home with him, the bogie was filling up with the last-minute people hurrying around, forcing dad to get out of the train. Within seconds, his face pops up at the window. He seems happy there is a charging point in the compartment and asks me to check to see if its working. It surprisingly did.. So then started the instructions... (Take a deep breath) "DO NOT switch off your mobile phones... Keep it charged... Keep giving me missed calls now and then... Call me when you stop at stations... Make sure you have all your luggage when you get down... Should i ask one of these men to help you with the luggage...? Do not forget to keep an alarm... You won't miss the station right? Keep your handbags under your head... Don't go to the washroom alone at night... Do you need anything...? U have water and some food for emergency...? Do u need a magazine... Do u need chocolates... Do u need ANYTHING AT ALL...!!!!!!! ...  blah blah blah.... and more blah...." (All in one breath... phew!)


       This went on till i yelled, all irritated (We don't like being told what to do, do we? ;-) ) - "Will you stop worrying Pappa... We are not kids! Come onnn!".. No sooner the words were outta my mouth i regretted it, for i knew 'The Feeling'... The feeling of seeing your loved ones go. Cos it was not just him, those feelings... mutual... exactly mine! I saw his face drop as he said the typical parenty super-touchy one-liner.. "You will always remain my little girl!" ...Why do they do that...!!! It's hard not to well up after that. One cliche statement which no matter how many times, how many parents utter... always gonna be true to the core.

       Well, that ended with a lotto emotional exchange and a long blast from the hooter. That bringing me to where i began... (Chug chug chug chug chug)... A moment is all it took for him to be OUT of sight and IN my thoughts... My mind eye sees him walking back the station, taking his steps ever so slowly. He's exhausted, i can see... Physically, mentally..! I know that face. That face is proof how much we mean to him, how much he loves us. "Jaan chidakna"- That's what i call it.

       As he totters out of the station, he knows he will wake up to a lonely 'Tomorrow', to see no wife on the other side of the bed, he knows he ll make one cup of tea - not two, he knows he ll think of her beautiful fresh morning face as he drinks it, he knows he ll not find his daughter smiling in her dreams as he looks into her room before leaving to work, he knows he wont feel the same energy in the office as always, he knows he will call them more than he always does for no particular reason, but to just listen to them. He knows this is not just tomorrow, but for many tomorrows to come before they come back. He knows his better half will worry about him, till she sees him again, and he reminds himself to not make it obvious to her that he wants her to come back home, soon! He knows his daughter will miss him very much, from the moment she caught his last glimpse, as she crained her neck to the maximum she could between the rails of the dirty window.


       He is a man and men don't cry, he reminds himself as he wipes the one tear that has somehow escaped his strong eyes. He frames his last eye-snap he took of the mother-daughter duo, for keeps till he sees them again. His cell phone beeps and a little smile creeps on his face because he knows what it is. It's his daughter, as always, sending an "I LOVE YOU PAPPA... I WILL MISS YOU MORE!" message. Thinking of his little girl, he joins the crowd which has god-knows how many widows, widowers, divorcees, orphans, childless, unfruitful and abandoned people. He feels lucky and thanks God for his wonderful family, as my mind eye shuts and drifts off to sleep... only to meet Him there, Again...! Amen.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

I opened my eyes a second time.... You made me!

    There are two times in my lifetime that i opened my eyes. The first time, I fell in love with my mother and the second time, I fell in love with something divine. The first time, i learnt to see and the second time, i learnt to see through. The first, i learnt to live for myself and the second, i learnt to live for love. The first time, i breathed to stay alive and the second time, someone took my breath away.

     The second eye-opener showed me a mirror. The mirror of reality. It wiped the fog of fantasy and cleared my view towards life. The mirror still gets misty, but it taught me to wipe it in time. I realised it wasn't dark out there. It never was. It was me, with my eyes closed all along. It taught me i can be my own sunshine and my own cloud... whichever i chose to see! The first time, i saw clouds and the second, i saw the clouds part to reveal the sun. The clouds keep forming. Sometimes a beautiful blue, and sometimes the dark ones. But it taught me every cloud has a silver lining, and every dark cloud pours down into rain.

    The first time, i learnt to breathe and the second, i learnt to live. The eye-opener is not an incident but a soul. A soul so special in my life,not because of its beauty, but cos of the things it made me do, cos of the things it opened in front of me, cos of the beautiful moments it bestowed on me, cos of the strength it generated in me! It ripped me apart and let light enter the dark spaces. It pushed out the negatives, to make place for more positives. It showed me what i lack and what i'm lacking. It broke open my shell and gave me wings to fly. It did so many things it still doesn't know!

     This soul is beautiful and serene. It's pure and clean. It's generous and forgiving. It's promising and caring. It's a mature kid as well as an immature adult. It's the incarnation of righteousness and the embodiment of true love. This soul belongs to a Hero who says nothing but still says it all, who hears nothing but still knows it all.

    This soul travels with me everyplace, and now dwells in my subconsciousness. It scolds like a mother and pampers like a dad. It spoils like a friend and shares secrets like a soulmate-


"A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. They come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you! "

      On this special day i want to thank this soul for being one with mine. For the innumerous memories to last for a lifetime. Want to tell the soul that i do not know the purpose of its existence this life but i do know one thing, that this soul was born to give birth to me for the second time, to the same world but a different outlook. Now when i close my eyes, i dont see the darkness of the clouds, but a night with twinkling stars. When i open my eyes, I dont see clouds closing in, but clouds making way for the sun. My eyes get misty when the clouds from the past surface into the present, but the vision of a bright future leaves me unshaken.

    The soul just glides alongside always, sometimes visible, sometimes invisible, sometimes thought about and some other times just felt... and sometimes maybe i am just hallucinating! You are special... very! You are thought about all the time and included in every prayer that follows!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Mom-Dad...Sometimes they wont let you win! Read to know...

I just came across this lady, Priya Kumar... The following is a part of her Dedication of her book 'License to Live'. She reminded me how much my parents have done for me. Read on. Beautifully written. If i had writing talents enough, probably this is how i would express it, maybe better!


"When people look at me in admiration, what they miss to see are the two pairs of hands that worked  tirelessly in shaping who I am today. When people reciprocate the warmth that I have in my heart, what they miss seeing are the two hearts that forgot their own heartache to mend mine. Every time when people see a glimpse of greatness in all I do, what they miss to see are the endless hours of work and sleepless nights that my parents went through in keeping my world safe as I grew. I live in a beautiful world because of the beauty my parents built within me. I am sane in the chaos around me because my parents very subtly nurtured values and integrity in me that have made me the success that I am. My parents gave me the best that they had and nothing less. When I look back on all those years and even today in the present, I see two parents still working at their now grown up baby, doing the best they can to make sure I have a great life,  and I do."

                                                                                            -Priya Kumar



Can we ever love back our parents enough...?!... Ever...?! I dont think so. This is one field in which our parents will never let us win. They will always be a step ahead, or maybe sometimes a step behind to push us forward. But they will always love us a little bit more, Always! My aim in life is now to defeat them in love by loving them more... L win..? L lose...? I donno... but i will LOVE!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I believe in....?

Okies people... oops! I dont think anyone even reads this... anyway... long time since i came blogging.... Doesn't really make a difference to anyone but ME... Hmmm... I was wondering what is it about life that makes it sooo unpredictable.... seriously...!!! Things change within the blink of an eye!

One thing i have realised today, that is when u believe in something, believe in it completely..... Come what may... If you put all your heart and work towards something good, the result can never be bad... The universe will make sure you achieve it... Life is about being positive and believing strongly.... It's about giving without expecting in return... When we do good and expect returns, it doesn't make us happy.... Expectations are killers... Jus give and do not expect... Your karma will take care of you... All the troubles and sadness you face are the results of your own wrong-doings... All the joy and happiness you get are the result of our good selfless deeds... Only your karma decides in what proportions you get it..!

Do good and leave it to God... Most people live in the misconception that good deeds are rewarded immediately... We need to realise that if we do good, we surely get good in return, but may not be in the form we expect it to be.. Because God alone knows what is really good for us...! A change in a person is always gradual....it can never be seen overnight... We make up our mind to change, and feel the necessity to be noticed... But when we change truly, it need not be told, for it will be seen..!

I realised one more thing today.... Today we live in such a quick world.... Where results are got in less than seconds time... This has psychologically moulded our minds such that if we make up our mind to do something good in order to achieve something... we expect the results instantly... We need to realise that nature takes its own sweet time to give you when you deserve it... So never stop but go on... Never stop believing in something if you really believe in it from the bottom of your heart! Perseverance with a good intention can attain anything...!

When you love someone, love like how your mother loves you... Selfless and true....! A mother will never lie about her love to her children... She is lying only if she says she doesn't love you! Love with your doors open... Because true love is one in which you don't need walls but only doors... If it goes out of one door, it wil surely return from another...Because true love lies in your heart... And to keep someone in your heart, you need no walls...!


Believing in miracles like never before.....! I know it'l happen....!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Music Creates Magic...!

      One of those days when i whisper to my heart- "ALL IS WELL....! EVEN THIS WILL PASS AWAY.....!!!" And the best way to come out of your sad state is music... Music has this amazing power which works on me each time... No, not sad songs... But songs by A.R.Rehman always end up stirring my soul. It makes me believe in life, love, magic and miracles all the more. Yes, i like believing that life is beautiful, that love is true, that there's always magic in the air and ya... that miracles happen!
      I like sprinkling my magical dust into my imagination n turn my reality into a dreamland. I love spendin time in here... where i hate no one n love all. When going gets tough in reality, i switch to my dreamland where i find solutions to all my problems. The problems dissolve into thin air here, n my worries are replaced by a renewed energy to find a way out of it.. It makes me wanna be kind.. to forgive and forget.. to repent over n correct my mistakes.. It makes me wanna be true.. makes me wanna be like an angel.. human is ignorant! But angels understand.. They are capable of creating wonders..!
      Here i feel no anger.. no jealousy.. no stress.. no strain.. but only joy.... pure eternal joy! A lil magic in life makes living a treat. It gives us a chance to see things differently.. in a better way.. in a magical way! :)
This song from GURU.. 'Ay hairathe zindagi' has touched the deepest chord of my heart today... This is how it translates... Never before observed the sweetness, the essence of this song....


dam dara dam dara, chashm chashme nam 
sun mere hum dum
hamesha ishq mein hi jeena



"Listen, my soulmate
always live in love"

ay hairathe aashiqui jagaa math
pairon se zameen zameen lagaa math



"oh wonderous love, don't ever wake up
don't let your feet touch the ground"

kyon urdu faarsi bolthe ho
das kehthe ho do tolthe ho 

jhooton ke shehenshah bolo na 


"why do you talk urdu and farsi
you say ten when you mean two
you king of liars, don't talk!"


kabhi jhaankhon meri aankhen
sunaaye ek daastaan jo honton se kholona

"look into my eyes sometimes
they tell a story which cannot be put into words"

do char maheen se lamhon mein
umron ke hisaab bhi hothe hain 

"sometimes, in a few months
a lifetime can be gauged"

jinhen dekha nahin kal tak kahin bhi
ab kok mein woh chahre bothe hain 

"one who has never been seen before
is now forming a face in my womb"

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Pisces - the Dreamers!



       I'm getting all astrological today. Spent hours analysing my actions as to how i really am thru my eyes as well as other! Shocking revelations when i could relate myself to every line i read in different sites. Never believed so much in sun signs as much as i am today. Zodiac signs do tell a lot about a person. I'm a Piscean and i am kinda proud of myself for the positive traits i have. But at the same time i realised that pisceans are found to be very strange by people who get to know them closely.
       Pisceans are dreamers always living in a fantasy world. They attach a magical touch to everything they perceive which others never seem to understand! Pisceans make their life beautiful, with a mystic edge to it. They are very emotional and sensitive. The symbol of Pisces is two fish going in opposite directions. This describes their state of mind. From my personal experience, its very difficult to decide on something. Too many possibilities come up and each one seems right at its place.
       They always tend to find the best in every human and don't usually hate anyone. Forgive and forget is my policy. Pisceans go with the flow usually. They tend to adjust with the people they are with. They can mingle in any group if they want to.Piscean folks love deeply and expect others to treat them with too much of care and love. They like to feel protected. Pisceans love unconditionally. They are too emotional and tend to cling to their closed ones which sometimes causes the closed ones longing for space. Water being the key element of the people under the Pisces sign, they can be compared to the moecules of water. Always together unless forced apart.
       Pisceans are always lost in thoughts and hate waking up from their dreams. When woken up to reality, they find themselves as a fish out of water. They prefer believing fantasy to be true and so they make great artists. These people are often spiritual thinkers and always find solace in philosophy. Pisceans love caring for others completely and expect the same in return. They always give readily expecting some of it return. They think from their heart more often than with their mind which results in other folks considering them to be impractical! And to an extent this is true. They are usually the ones who sacrifice with pleasure , without thinking twice!
       But the excessive emotional sensitive character of the pisces usually kills the joy among people around them who are not used to this overflowing mixture of care, love and emotions! They usually get depressed for the actions which go even a little different from the scenario they viewed in their imaginations. Pisceans themselves are the cause for their depressions usually. Their inability to relate to reality lands them into a mess. But the strong point of the Pisces gets them out of it pretty soon. This rapid change in behaviour puts other people in confusion. Pisces folks are considered to be the most complicated of all people, also because being the 12th sign, they share qualities of every other sign, giving them a gift of deep understanding. They sense every sign and emotion of the people around them which sometimes works negatively for them, as it results in other people feeling insecure of letting this piscean know them when they dont want to!
       Pisceans cannot see another person in grief. They understand others deeply but are usually the ones who are misunderstood by others. They are unable to express what they perceive!!!! But this gift of understanding makes them likable by everyone. A little show of care, love and protection, a few magical words assures their heart! Constant assurance always does the trick!