Showing posts with label comfort. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comfort. Show all posts

Sunday, March 11, 2012

When hiding didn't seem safe anymore, she seeked!

Courtesy
Manisha looked on as little Masha peeked out from her hiding place. She had been there for quite a while now, playing Hide n Seek with her friends. She did not seem to like this game much. Manisha observed that the little girl enjoyed and had fun as long as she was hiding, but hated it when it was her time to seek. It seemed to freak her out!

Manisha looked back into the old brown carton that lay before her with it's seal broken filled with old books as she sat on the verandah of her house. She did not like to call it her home. It didn't feel like one. No place felt like home anymore, not even her own. She realized she was staring into space and quickly shifted her gaze lest her neighbours think she was completely crazy. They already looked at her with a strange quizzical look cos she lived all alone and never had a soul coming over. It wasn't the case that she did not have friends. But she preferred being by herself.

As she brought back her attention to the books lying around, she took the one in her hand, brought it near her face and felt it against her skin. The familiarity felt good. But the pages smelt different now after so many years. Those were the collection of the journals she wrote. She flipped through it till she came across empty pages. She now observed something that made her chuckle. There was not a single book which was complete. She remembered how every year she started a new journal with a resolution to be regular. But that never happened. There was a new book every year, with few pages filled, now and then.

How similar it was to her life, she mused. She had begun so many things, but finished none. The adage 'Jack of all trades, master of none' seemed to suit her aptly! She shook her head and looked towards Masha again. She was still hiding, giving the seeker a tough time.

Courtesy
And then Manisha looked inside her house and now she was the one freaking out. She was doing exactly the same thing, wasn't she? She was hiding too, like she had done all her life. Only it wasn't Hide n Seek anymore. Cos people had given up seeking on her. She let a very few people into her heart and then they left. More came, more left. And now she did not let anyone in anymore, not in her heart nor in her house! She was scared, and so she hid. Hid in the comfort of her secluded self.

She got up from her place, and went inside her house and strolled about. Her things were all neatly organized. It was a beautiful place. But she did not feel comfortable living in her house anymore. It had always been empty, only now she FELT it. The emptiness crawled onto her like a long cold snake. It sent shivers down her spine. It was time now, she told herself, it was time she completed her journal, it was time she seeked! 

With that, she looked back into the woods through her window and saw Masha being found from her hiding place. It was her turn to seek now, Manisha saw the scared look on the little one's face. As though she could suddenly sense someone watching her, she turned towards Manisha. The helpless innocent eyes on Manisha now, she knew she had got a second chance, for Masha was only a fragment of the memories of her childhood. She took a deep breath and mouthed at her eight year old self, "We'll get through this, i promise!"








Thursday, December 8, 2011

If life was one long text message, i would never wanna use the sad smiley again.... EVER!

      Away from all the screaming madness around and inside me, i seem to have found a quiet little sensible place in my heart. It somehow seems to be taking over me. Looking back to myself, is like looking into a tunnel, with light at the end. Yeah.. There was light... and then there was darkness, then there was pitch darkness, but i guess i found my way out of the tunnel again. Now i find light flooding me out. That's good. Darkness is comfortable, but i dont wanna go back in there.
      How people tend to live in their comfort zone. Looking back, its scary sometimes. When you get a little too comfortable with yourself for too long, i think it's time for a reality check! Those times when you just wanna be. You want to be left alone. You just wanna do nothing. You whine and cry and brood over literally everything around you. Everything in your life seems to go wrong. You want to laze yourself all day long, two days, a week, and more. Then you know you are in trouble..! 
      I ve crawled out of my comfort zone to glide into a new arena. I dont wanna settle yet. Life's just beginning. There is so much i wanted to do as a lil one. Let's take five minutes outta our days and think- What did we think our life would be like now when we were little? I for one had a lotto things i thought i would have done by now. And now introspecting, i find myself not even close.When things dont work out for a long time, then you know something's really wrong, and something needs to be done. It's like a personality emergency!
      We have so many plans for our future all the time that we have no time to live in the present. We are sooooo busy planning our future, we have no time to carry out the plans already chalked out in the past! When we cant get ourselves up and running to yday's dreams, what is the guarranty that today's dream is gonna come true tomorrow or in the near future?!

     
         It can surely come true, but that can happen only when we begin, when we 'DO'...! Passion, hard work... is a must for every little thing. It's so refreshing to feel sunny. To feel good all the time. To not let sadness hover over you. To not be addicted to your thoughts, your dreams to an extent that you tend to float forever. To be able to choose the thoughts you want to let into your mind and think and send the other ones right out...! I like this new game. Being Strong is my new motto. After all we become what we think we are. If i think i am vulnerable... oh yes i am! If i think i am strong, Oh hell yeah, I am! ;)
       If life was one long text message, i would never wanna use the sad smiley again.... EVER! He is happy who thinks he is...! Ting! :D
       Miracles happen.... Happened to me..... N still happening....!!!!! :)