Monday, April 16, 2012

Don't go, be alive - A Haiku.





Scream howled through the hall
People outside impatient 
Operation light

Red to green it goes 
Man hurries to still closed door
Expect joy or death

Nurse comes over with
Little baby boy in hands
Life into being

Still sad faces loom
Man looks beyond to wife pale
No breath, not alive

You're so precious
You're so important
Don't go, be alive!


This Haiku is written for The Heights of Haiku - April 2012. The prompt for today is 'BEING'.


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25 comments:

  1. Sankara Jayanth SApril 16, 2012 at 12:10 AM

    I take a bow! I actually felt i was watching this!!

    To tell you the truth, i started to write a post about the same thing, long back.
    But i couldn't do it because i knew not how to put it in poetic form. So i dropped the thought!!

    But this is absolutely great! I almost envy you for this poem! :D ;) :)

    great work..the emotions are reached, calm and intense!

    thanks for this!!

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    Replies
    1. Sankara Jayanth SApril 16, 2012 at 12:11 AM

      long back,i meant to say a few months back..
      but i now know even if i did write, i couldn't have done it this good!!!!

      Delete
    2. PranitaApril 16, 2012 at 12:16 AM

      Thanks a lot Jayanth... frankly after i was done writing it, i thot i hav nt been able to convey the real feeling behind it since i had to do it in as less words!

      But m really glad the emotions came through!

      Delete
    3. Sankara Jayanth SApril 16, 2012 at 12:22 AM

      believe me, it did more than just 'convey'...
      the theme is such raw and elemental that i guess we feel apprehensive about writing it.. i gave up..you din't and a great poem we have here.
      :)

      Delete
    4. PranitaApril 16, 2012 at 12:24 AM

      I'm sure ur draft would be way better than my published version yaar!!! I think u shud give it a shot... Really... do it! :)

      Delete
  2. CYNOSUREApril 16, 2012 at 12:13 AM

    This was an exceptional one by you Pranita...I dunno what to say...I'm stunned... :O
    a really touching one... :)

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    Replies
    1. PranitaApril 16, 2012 at 12:17 AM

      Thanks a lot Sarabjeet! :) I'm glad the emotions came through.. wen i chose this theme, i wasnt sure whether i ll be able to do justice to it!

      Delete
  3. Ramesh SoodApril 16, 2012 at 12:16 AM

    Beautiful.. a well narrated sad tale..or let me say.. a tale of mixed feelings.. I invite you to some time have a look at a post of mine " The beginning"..one of my longest poems... you will like it... I see some similarity of essence here.. RS:)

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    Replies
    1. PranitaApril 16, 2012 at 12:17 AM

      Thank you Ramesh ji... m surely gonna take a look at it.. for sure!

      Delete
  4. GraceApril 16, 2012 at 1:29 AM

    If the baby died, then this is a sad tale ~ Nice one ~

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  5. PattiKenApril 16, 2012 at 6:35 AM

    You've told a whole story in haiku. Impressive!

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  6. Mohini PuranikApril 16, 2012 at 12:59 PM

    Touching Pranita.

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  7. Tarang SinhaApril 16, 2012 at 1:52 PM

    Poignant poetic tale! Really...really nice:)

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  8. ChevrefeuilleApril 16, 2012 at 5:01 PM

    This is a wonderful series of haiku Pranita. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ⁂ܓVållῐ ⁂ܓ☺April 16, 2012 at 9:51 PM

    Very touching story....beautifully penned

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  10. KizmetApril 17, 2012 at 5:33 AM

    sad and sweet all at once what an endearing Haiku.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousApril 17, 2012 at 2:48 PM

    Very intense and suspenseful - I LOVED it! :)

    ReplyDelete

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