Thursday, September 16, 2010

I LOVE YOU, my dear ME.

       Having a moody moodswing! Too angry with my inside. The voices just dont stop talking and it's truly deafening me. I want peace just now! Is trying hard to hush the voices inside and put them to rest. The inner voice keeps calling and calling and calling. I do not want to respond today. I feel like they are my babies this moment. The more i ignore, the more attention they seek. The more i sush, the more they shout. They keep me going all the time. But at this moment i want peace! Total blankness!

       Is craving for a blank night! I imagine a starry night and a moon and me lying on a beach. Unknown to all.. and far far away from everyone! A night out... just me and my blankness! I want no thoughts, no feelings, no emotions. Just peace of mind. The sound of the waves on the warm sand, and the warm water lapping my feet is so damn inviting! Oh so blissful that would be. Is trying to have the sound of the waves fade the noise from within! I doubt anyone can relate to me, so i prefer not to go on about it!

       I wish to give my mind, my heart and my soul it's well deserved rest and is sorry for have over-exerted them all the time. I want to tell myself how much i love me. Today i just wanna be there for me. Just me.. and by 'ME' i mean i want the state of mind i might have had when i was born. A blank mind! Wants to sleep lik how i might have slept 20 years back in the cradle.. tucked in tight... with not a single worry in the world. I WISH!

Badly needs this miracle to happen!



  1. Aah! pranita.

    this one.
    there comes a time when we are fed up with somethings in life, the useless irrelevancies of teenage and also the harsh realities of human society, that we just wish we were babies again, sleeping in blissful innocence. aah.. i could relate this to me and one of my friend who too expressed it this way..

    "The more i ignore, the more attention they seek. The more i sush, the more they shout" about the babies : such a wonderful metaphor to the actual theme.

    aah, now the night sky, there is actually draft post in my blog about night sky and the ponderings henceforth.

    night sky, Pranita, the world forgot it. the cities, we have masked it. sad. so busy with our lives, we forget that there is always this friend above, shown whom our mothers fed us while we were still babies. only few think about it. and only very few, are 'gifted' enuf to see it. cities, they broke us, i feel.

    expect more comments from me on this very post. 'coz there is an awful lot i want to express. but right now, my head clogged there, coz recently, from 2-3 weeks i have been a bit depressed about not being able to watch the night sky. not being able to give myself that time.
    even now, i am here writing on PC. i wouldn't if i had a chance to go and be lost in the pleasantness of that night sky. many things have fallen to be barricades for me to go and watch the sky.

    sorry, long one again. i would get back when i feel okay again..
    i hope you had that moment of solitude that you were wishing for, until now, did you ?

  2. and "peace of mind", i often wonder, when was it the last time someone on earth had at least a piece of peace of mind, after they grew up.

  3. actually, when ever i write more, it means the more emotionally thriving i am, on the inside. i write so much in pumped emotion with a fear that i might implode with all these thoughts inside me, growing tantamountly.
    i think im okay now.
    about this night sky,
    i have tried to watch the stars and those multitude of glowing orbs, but i saw but a few out of a possible million. i know not who to blame, other than myself.

    and solitude, when we think of it the most, when we want it the most, evades like jumpy rabbit. life, ah beautifully painful. painfully beautiful.

    oh my, are you not irritated even now?
    well, this is me. the one who can write thousands of words and one who hardly speaks(physical) one.
    enough i guess. :D sorry, seriously.

    1. Whoaaa... ur comments are longer than my post!!! ;)
      It's ok buddy... chill.. get out of your computer, and go enjoy the night sky tonight.. i enjoy it almost everyday.. Hav a beautiful view of the valley outside my window.. I can look out all night esp wen i can c moon n stars!

      It's a super soother! I still havent gotten that peace i wished for.. it's not very easy. Peace of mind? What is that? ;)

  4. Replies
    1. Hav lied down on the terrace and thought looking at the stars... i guess that's kinda talking!!! ;)
      Never literally... hav u?