I heard the mini drum roll of tiny feet as they came running, giggling, and competing to reach the door first to open it up for us. But none could reach the latch at the top of the faded blue grilled door. We saw them squinting their eyes as their curious little faces glowed with the sun right behind us. For a moment inside my head, I was inside with them, and then when I looked out, I saw only dark figures. But they didn't need to see our faces. They knew it was us all along.
From the first time we visited the Orphanage, we knew this was a place we would come back to, over and again. The cute innocent faces were magnets. When I looked at them, I couldn't help feeling sorry. I wondered how it must be to grow up without having a parent around, and the next moment I didn't want to know. It was a sinking feeling. I wished none of these kids had to live like this. I wished none of them had to feel the feeling that I refused to even imagine!
When asked, we found out that some kids are those whose parents died when they were young and had no family known left behind. Some others had families, but no one stepped up to take care of them or they themselves admitted the kids in the orphanage. Then there were those little abandoned infants, who were usually left behind in dustbins, temples, and hospitals. Unmarried mothers are usually the cause for this, who are shamed by our society, which doesn't let them rear their babies even if they want to. With the fear of harm to the baby on holding on to them, most are forced to give up on them hoping and praying that they'll end up into some good hands.
This being one part of the post, there's one more I have to mention before moving on to my views on adoption. I have this theory, as weird as it might sound to you, that people from this moment should stop having babies. We all know this is kalyug. There are lots of theories that hint at destruction of the earth in the near future. When I say 'near future', I don't necessarily mean December 2012. But, it's evident that the earth is to see its end soon. And if that happens, there is going to be chaos and suffering when death looms over all the people alive.
And I ask myself, would I willingly want to face this natural wrath? And my answer is most certainly NO. But I have no choice since I'm not suicidal! But the babies who haven't yet been created have a way to escape this. And that way is by not bringing them into this life. Say, the earth is still fine when my time comes and I die a natural death. But would I die in peace knowing what awaits my little baby? Of course not! Wouldn't I then blame myself for befalling it on the baby. They did not ask for this life. We bring them on this earth for our own selfish reasons. To be happy. But would we be happy subjecting the little ones to these totally unavoidable mundane affairs of the world?
...We had spent quite some time with the little angels and the cute demons, and then it was time to leave. The highlight of the day for me was when a little boy, Krishna, who never came to any girl for a reason I fail to comprehend, finally came to me as I prepared to leave. I took him in my arms, and at that moment I knew what I wanted out of my future. I knew the baby of my life was still unborn, but would be born to someone, somewhere, someday, and I knew my destiny would lead me to the little one, in probably one of the many orphanages in the world.
Having said that, I pray God to give me the courage to actually implement this plan in future when it is Time. Tathastu.
"I love you already! ", it whispered in my dream twice,
"I love you too my baby! ", I replied still closing my eyes.
"I'm scared you wont find me", it whispered more closer.
I smiled, "Don't worry sweetheart, we are meant to be together".