Don't go, be alive - A Haiku.

Scream howled through the hall

People outside impatient 

Operation light

Red to green it goes 

Man hurries to still closed door

Expect joy or death

Nurse comes over with

Little baby boy in hands

Life into being

Still sad faces loom

Man looks beyond to wife pale

No breath, not alive

You're so precious

You're so important

Don't go, be alive!

This Haiku is written for The Heights of Haiku - April 2012. The prompt for today is 'BEING'.

Adopt kids... Let the born 'live' the life they've been given.

I heard the mini drum roll of tiny feet as they came running, giggling, and competing to reach the door first to open it up for us. But none could reach the latch at the top of the faded blue grilled door. We saw them squinting their eyes as their curious little faces glowed with the sun right behind us. For a moment inside my head, I was inside with them, and then when I looked out, I saw only dark figures. But they didn't need to see our faces. They knew it was us all along.

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From the first time we visited the Orphanage, we knew this was a place we would come back to, over and again. The cute innocent faces were magnets. When I looked at them, I couldn't help feeling sorry. I wondered how it must be to grow up without having a parent around, and the next moment I didn't want to know. It was a sinking feeling. I wished none of these kids had to live like this. I wished none of them had to feel the feeling that I refused to even imagine!

When asked, we found out that some kids are those whose parents died when they were young and had no family known left behind. Some others had families, but no one stepped up to take care of them or they themselves admitted the kids in the orphanage. Then there were those little abandoned infants, who were usually left behind in dustbins, temples, and hospitals. Unmarried mothers are usually the cause for this, who are shamed by our society, which doesn't let them rear their babies even if they want to. With the fear of harm to the baby on holding on to them, most are forced to give up on them hoping and praying that they'll end up into some good hands.

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But not all orphans get lucky, do they? Some kids are adopted, some taken away and their innocence misused, and the rest, well... they spend their life forced to believe that the orphanage is their home and family, and live there till they grow up and move out, only to make place for more. I have wondered what these kids go through when they see other kids with their mother and/or father. I'm surprised they still continue to believe in the higher power. How many times might they have looked up and asked God the question, "Why me?!". It's sad, it's unfair, and something really unfortunate.

This being one part of the post, there's one more I have to mention before moving on to my views on adoption. I have this theory, as weird as it might sound to you, that people from this moment should stop having babies. We all know this is kalyug. There are lots of theories that hint at destruction of the earth in the near future. When I say 'near future', I don't necessarily mean December 2012. But, it's evident that the earth is to see its end soon. And if that happens, there is going to be chaos and suffering when death looms over all the people alive.

And I ask myself, would I willingly want to face this natural wrath? And my answer is most certainly NO. But I have no choice since I'm not suicidal! But the babies who haven't yet been created have a way to escape this. And that way is by not bringing them into this life. Say, the earth is still fine when my time comes and I die a natural death. But would I die in peace knowing what awaits my little baby? Of course not! Wouldn't I then blame myself for befalling it on the baby. They did not ask for this life. We bring them on this earth for our own selfish reasons. To be happy. But would we be happy subjecting the little ones to these totally unavoidable mundane affairs of the world?

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Instead, there are so many little kids out there who are already born, abandoned, lonely, and have no one to look up to or call someone their family. Why not open our arms wide to these helpless kids, adopt them and make their life a happy one? Does true love for a baby be necessarily blood related? I don't think so. This way you are giving a new life to an already born baby, instead of giving new life to an unborn. I know this topic is a debatable one. But this has been my view for a long time now.

...We had spent quite some time with the little angels and the cute demons, and then it was time to leave. The highlight of the day for me was when a little boy, Krishna, who never came to any girl for a reason I fail to comprehend, finally came to me as I prepared to leave. I took him in my arms, and at that moment I knew what I wanted out of my future. I knew the baby of my life was still unborn, but would be born to someone, somewhere, someday, and I knew my destiny would lead me to the little one, in probably one of the many orphanages in the world. 

Having said that, I pray God to give me the courage to actually implement this plan in future when it is Time. Tathastu.

"I love you already! ", it whispered in my dream twice,

"I love you too my baby! ", I replied still closing my eyes.

"I'm scared you wont find me", it whispered more closer.

I smiled, "Don't worry sweetheart, we are meant to be together".

In hindsight from the beyond.

She looked beautiful as he saw her sleeping. The sun had risen just enough to cast a breath-taking glow on her pale face. She looked perfect, in her satin blue nightgown. As the wind gently caressed her golden hair. She moved just a little and snuggled inside her white cover. It was cold, and the window was open. He left her side to go shut it only to realize that the stopper had been broken for quite some time now. He remembered her bickering to him about it almost every evening when he came back home, for a while and then she stopped. He never thought of the chill it gave her since he had been spending most of his nights in the study or fell asleep on the couch as he flipped through his files.

He came back to her side, and wished he could cuddle her up and provide some warmth. He wanted to but he couldn't. No, not because she would mind, not because his ego came in the way, but because he was dead! Not just dead from the inside. But he was really DEAD! He had been in a car accident on his way back home on that fateful night more than a month back. He had just left the office late in the night and as he got into his car, he recalled he was supposed to call a client by midnight and let him know that the deal was on. He had then gotten into the front seat and sped off with one hand on the steering wheel and one on his phone.

If she had been in there with him, she would have not let him drive without his seat belt on. She always fussed about him talking on the phone as he speeded. How much that pissed him off! It always ended up in petty arguments. But she wasn't with him that day, and he did what pleased him. As he spoke into the phone and drove along the highway, he had missed a traffic signal only to be hit by a speeding bus from the right which sent him colliding into another car and things had gotten deadly ugly. And the last thing he remembered was an unbearable pain surging through his head before everything went blank. Later when the ambulance came, he was declared dead on the spot!

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He had seen himself being carried away. The medics trying their best to bring him back to life. But it was too late. As he looked on to his lifeless cold body on the hospital bed, he had the sudden urge to look back. There was no one. But within a split second, the door was pushed wide open and what he saw was a sight more pitiful than his own. It was her! His wife.. his beautiful wife. He smiled at her, but she did not smile back as she rushed through him to throw herself on his lifeless body.

 She wailed, she howled, she screamed as tears welled out non-stop from her red eyes. He knew she must have been crying all the way from home. He wondered who had informed her about his death. He did not wish to imagine how hard it might have been for her to receive the unfortunate news. He thought back to the times he did not pay heed to her words, the times she fought him for his own good, for his own safety. He thought of her deep concern for him, the times he stood her up for movies, for restaurants, for events. The times he did not pick her up while she waited.

Suddenly as he kept looking at her, he found all the blood rush off her face. He realized she was looking into his mobile phone. He went to stand behind her and tried to see what was bothering her. He read the message from the UNREAD folder she must have sent him earlier today which he had not bothered to read. It read- "Come home soon honey. Good news!" He wondered what the good news was, and as he looked at her again, he just knew it!!! For she had one hand on her belly as she lay her head over his body and cried harder.

His thoughts went back to the day when he came back home a little early, in time for dinner during which she had shared with him her deep wish to have a baby, that she felt lonely and did not feel his presence anymore. She had hoped having a baby would be a good idea, given that they were doing very good financially and the fact that she was a housewife. He had agreed for once. How he wished he was alive now! He wanted to hug her and tell her that he loved her and the little life within her. He wanted to cry too, but he couldn't because he was dead.

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 He snapped out of his daze as she stirred in her sleep. He had spent every passing moment with her from the time she had left the crematorium. He had seen her laugh thinking about their time together, he had seen her cry thinking of the life they could have had had he driven carefully. Now as he stared at her lovely white face, he found something missing. It did not take time for him to figure that out. Her smile! It was missing. It had been missing from a long time now. The only time she smiled now was in her sleep when she dreamt about him. He knew she preferred sleeping longer these days because that was her only way of being with him.

He knew that he had lost his chance of being with her, of loving her as she deserved. He knew she had to move on.. for her happiness, for their baby!  He bent over her one last time, and kissed her belly as he left forever. Just before he left, he turned back. And.. she smiled.

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