Kailash Kher, Voicing the divine in all its glory.

KAILASH KHER - The name in itself sounds divine, doesn't it? I wonder the person who named this great artist knew at that time, that he would some day in future play a part in helping mere mortals like us experience KAILASA through his music!

 

Read on my overwhelming emotions towards this great singer as i saw him perform LIVE in concert as a part of our cultural fest in college.

Click here to read the entire article -> Kailash Kher, Voicing the divine in all its glory.

 At the end of the show, i found myself humming -

"Tune kya kar daala, marr gayi main, mitt gayi main.. ho ri, ha ri.. ho gayi main... TERI DEEWANI... DEEWANI..."

Kailash Ji, that one was for you! :)

Ekla cholo re... If they answer not to thy call, walk alone.

I have the song 'Ekla Cholo Re' from the movie Kahaani on repeat for some days now. And i don't seem to stop loving it. I listened to pretty many versions of the same song and i'm mesmerized by it's beauty. Bengali has always been one of my favorite languages. Though i do not follow everything in the song, it's just so sweet to my ears, i don't seem to get enough of it! Amitabh Bacchan has done an amazing job with his voice in this one. The gravity of his voice pulls me towards the song all the more.

The line 'Ekla Cholo Re' hits somewhere hard inside, somewhere deep. Isn't that like the ultimate fact in reality? We walk alone. Everything else in life is like an illusion, don't you think? We are alone when we are born, and alone when we die. We walk alone all our lives with the illusion of being surrounded by people we call society. Socializing is not wrong, and infact is a must. But why do we depend on people so much that we forget our existence independently?

Why do most of us depend on others for our identity? Aren't we someone beautiful and unique all by ourselves? God has made each one of us differently for a reason. I once came across this quote..

"I am the part of the creation, materializing from the same artist that created sunsets and rainbows, rain and snow!"

How beautiful is that thought. Imagine God choosing every little characteristic in you. How would you feel if i told you that, today what you are is how God wished to see you?! If you think what God is seeing is not a happy sight, don't you think we should strive to make ourselves one? I think God, and parents will always love us for what we are, how we are... always! It's upto us which way we would prefer to present ourselves as.

Here's the translation of this wonderful song crafted by Shri Rabindranath Tagore.

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If they answer not to thy call walk alone,

If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,

O thou unlucky one,

open thy mind and speak out alone.

If they turn away, and desert you when crossing the wilderness,

O thou unlucky one,

trample the thorns under thy tread,

and along the blood-lined track travel alone.

If they do not hold up the light when the night is troubled with storm,

O thou unlucky one,

with the thunder flame of pain ignite thy own heart

and let it burn alone.

Here are more versions of the same song, beautifully sung!

Shreya Goshal

Kishore Kumar

Usha Utthup

Suchitra Mitra

After listening to this song, 'alone' doesn't seem so bad anymore, does it?

Celebrating 10,000 pageviews! :D

Whoaaa.... I reached the 10000th mark!!!!! I never thought i will reach even the 1000th when i started... It grew, then to 5000... and now in no time, it's 10k...!!! :D

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When you're happy and you know it clap your hands!!!! *Clap Clap Clap*

Yes sir! I'm super happy today and nothing in this whole wide world can bring it down. Sensing a lil achievement from the inside. My non-blogging readers might not get me exactly. What's the whole fuss about reaching some 5 digit pageviews, u say? Ask any of your blogger friends, and they'll tell you how much each page count matters to us! Every little drop makes an ocean? Every single page view, every little comment, each one of the compliments make us a happy blogger. 

The feeling is amazing when someone appreciates what we do. The blogosphere is somewhat a mutual admiration society they say. But whatever it is, joy doubles when shared.. and so here i am doubling my joy. Thanks to all my readers who serve as a constant encouragement to me!

Trying to spread cheer always... Keep blogging, and keep stopping by mine...! Toodles :)

I added a hop to my step,

And a smile to my face.

A whistle on my lips,

And made my world a happy place.

When you wish to free from the frenzy!

Every once in a while, in the life of a student, comes a time when there is a need to find some peace, some quiet. Not the silence you get inside the room, but some place different. The need to run away from the loud music, the chatter of people around, the study stress, the personal problems. Some place far, but not very far.

Read on at - > Frenzy leads you to Dee-Tee? Why not try the Vee-Gee-Tee! 

P.S. - Dee Tee is the most popular bar in Manipal , and VGT is short for the Venugopal Temple. 

That said, the point i wanted to put across is that visiting the temple during festivals when it is fully lit and is thronged by people has its own charm. But once in a while, visiting it at non-peak times will present you just another side of the temple, the existence of which you might not have noticed. The power of silence is amazing. The tranquil atmosphere it provides might just be something you've been looking for. Maybe that little time away from the normal chaotic culture will help you see a part of yourself you never knew existed. Maybe you'll find the answers to the questions you haven't had time to think about. Maybe the serenity of the temple will help you get the clarity you've been praying for.

Tathastu.

Giveaway Galore!

I just came across this new community - Style Craze . I have never taken part in a Giveaway before. This is my first time. I'm really hoping to have some beginners luck! It's India's largest beauty network and has some amazing information about beauty products and tips. Check it out! Join StyleCraze Community for the latest Updates & Advise from your favourite Bloggers @ www.community.stylecraze.com  


Another style blog called Corallista Makeup Blog by Ankita caught my attention with its amazing Giveaway products. Check out ‘Love your Lips’ Giveaway : Win a lip bag featuring Corallista’s favorite lip products! Participate, and you might get lucky too...!

The eternal sunshine of my spotless mind!

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All of us, at one time or the other have wondered about having some different abilities than what we actually have. Especially as kids, with our imaginations at the peak, sky was the limit then. I for one, as a kid - hated eating rice. And rice was something i had to put up with every single day. It just didn't look fair to me. Subjecting my mouth, my tongue, my taste buds to this torture seemed like a crime of the highest order. I remember praying to God to provide me with a zip for my tummy, so that i would be able to put the things that i don't like to eat directly in my stomach without having to taste it! And the yummy ones, i could then eat normally. LOL. The wish was never granted, but it made for a good childhood memory. (I still wish for it sometimes.)

My new muse now is that what if there was a way to erase the memories we didn't want to keep. Not because there is no space, we don't even use the whole of our brain. But those memories which are really hurtful, how i wish there was a way to get rid of them and move on without having a knowledge of its happening ever again. 'Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' - Blame this movie for getting me to think on these lines. The movie totally freaked me out.

It's about two people falling in love and carrying on a relationship for some time. But they get bored and frustrated with each other and end up apart. She doesn't want to remember him or anything about him cos it's too difficult to move on. She goes for a memory-erasure-procedure where every detail connected to him in her life is taken out of her system! He gets to know about this, and decides to undergo it himself too. But as the doctors erase his memory one by one, towards the end he doesn't wish to continue with it and tries to hold on to one last memory. He struggles, but alas! It's erased permanently. Much after that, the same two people meet again. Both do not remember each other, but they get together again to live happily ever after.

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There's one part of the movie, where they find a tape which was recorded by the doctor before their memory was erased. They listen to it, and it's unbelievable! That part totally freaked me out. How would it be to forget the memories that have been the closest to your heart, some of the deepest emotions. And then one fine day, when you have no clue something so major ever happened in your life, you stumble upon something that tells you something so ghastly about yourself. That must be even more painful and horrifying than living with the hurt all along!

The movie was a work of fiction. But it set me musing as to what i would do if i really had a choice to undergo a memory-erasure-procedure. Would i ever go for it? Would i be able to let go of any memories, however painful they be? Would i be prepared to lose a part of my life never to remember it again? Would i try to hang on to it too? It's a momentary feeling, wishing to be able to not remember something. But if i really had a choice, then? Hmmm....

What would you guys do? Leave a comment and let me know!

Come along, but only for one night and one day.

What does the sea know that i don't i wonder, as i look at the wallpaper on my laptop. It's one of my favorites among the pictures i've clicked. Water always soothes my senses with it's pleasing aqua blue and white waves brushing the rich brown sand, erasing all the footprints folks left behind.

The sun was setting, but i don't recall why i did not want it to be a part of this particular picture. I think it would have spoilt the serenity this one offered me. Or maybe because i just did not want it. There need not be a reason for every action, should there? It's nice to just do something sometimes only 'cos you feel like it... Totally impulsive! It's unlike me, but it's refreshing at times.

The sea has always been my favorite spot. Not a river, not the waterfalls, but the sea, the ocean. I would love a desert too for that matter though i haven't seen one in my life. One common thing in both of these is their vast spread and the beautiful fact that both seas and deserts don't seem to end.. ever! I think i like things that last forever. That go on, spreading love in all directions as they tread through their journey to the unknown.

Not able to see the end, lets us live our life assuming an end we expect. It's disappointing when things don't work out as we see it, but the hopeless hope keeps you going. How i wish i became a lil droplet and joined the expedition of the sea. I would visit new places, meet new people, erase more footprints left behind, erase those in my own head too. Most of all, i would get to remain pretty calm in the midst, and appear full of energy at the shore.

That's the way i like to be anyway. I like spending a lot of time by myself. I've yet again started enjoying my company. I guess i'm in love with myself all over again. They say one is never lonely if he/she loves the person he/she is alone with. It's true... totally. It's such a humid weather down here right now, damn! And i look longingly onto the picture, wishing to just be one with it. To feel the cold waves lash against me. To walk into it's depth till the water is at my neck and i can still breathe, and then swim my way back to the shore, and feel ALIVE!

I ran into the sea - 'What do you know that i don't? '

Wondering aloud, only to be silenced,

By the howl of the wind, the sound of the waves,

'Be one with me and you'll know', it raced.

'Take me with you, somewhere far away'..

'Come along, but only for one night and one day'!

Are your eyes capable of seeing another reality?

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Some days back a guy in my college fell off an over crowded bus which he had been hanging on to, which resulted in a brain haemorrhage. Yesterday he passed away in the morning leaving behind a tearful family and shocked friends. The students were enraged when the director of our college instead of sympathizing with the unfortunate accident, responded saying 'He could have avoided this had he woken up ten minutes earlier!' The Director since being appointed to us, had caused nothing but displeasure among the students. All the suppressed frustration of the students burst out with that remark.

 The main reason being she had the audacity to pass that remark while the ugly truth was that the reason the poor guy had to hang on to that bus was because for the past few years, the intake of the students has been increasing year by year, while the number of buses still remain the same. The bus which leaves ten minutes earlier leaves in the same condition too! With new hostels being built far away, it's not possible to reach college on time if the bus is missed. So there is no option than to hang on and pray you reach safely! And even if the students enter the class 5 minutes late, attendance is not given and at the end of the semester if the attendance is short even by 1%, ordi is ensured! In such a situation, what is a student supposed to do? And after all this,we get to hear those insensitive remarks.

Yesterday after the condolence meeting, more than 2000 students thronged for justice. There were banners, placards, slogans being shouted, names being called, property being broken(which most of us are not proud of.Vandalism was totally uncalled for). The rally which started at 3 pm went on till about 9 pm. The first and foremost demand was the resignation of the Director, then and there. Students refused to budge till this was granted. Police was called, still everyone stood their ground. The management tried to pacify the crowd by luring them with 3 days leave which was 'BOO'ed upon.

Finally, the Vice-Chancellor announced the golden words, that the director had resigned!!!!! There was joy and victory in the air. People cheered, hugged, screamed their hearts out. Everybody hailed the name of the boy who passed away. We felt him smile over us from his now heavenly abode. But among the people who supported the same cause, there was a difference of opinion. Within unity, i found diversity.

One set of people felt that it wasn’t right to use a person’s death to trigger a change for the college, and yesterday should have been a peaceful day to mourn, lighting candles and remembering him. Yet another set of people believed the dead cannot be brought back to life, but the situation can be used to do good to the college he was a part of, and a protest which he would probably have supported too if he was alive. The former saw silent mourning as a mark of respect for the departed soul, while the latter felt nothing but fighting for the reason that caused his death would bring him eternal peace.


Which one of these are right, are they both? Or are they both wrong?  Who is to decide?  Well, here’s my take on it..

Please visit this link to read on - Dear well wishers of Ishan, are your eyes capable of seeing another reality?

When hiding didn't seem safe anymore, she seeked!

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Manisha looked on as little Masha peeked out from her hiding place. She had been there for quite a while now, playing Hide n Seek with her friends. She did not seem to like this game much. Manisha observed that the little girl enjoyed and had fun as long as she was hiding, but hated it when it was her time to seek. It seemed to freak her out!

Manisha looked back into the old brown carton that lay before her with it's seal broken filled with old books as she sat on the verandah of her house. She did not like to call it her home. It didn't feel like one. No place felt like home anymore, not even her own. She realized she was staring into space and quickly shifted her gaze lest her neighbours think she was completely crazy. They already looked at her with a strange quizzical look cos she lived all alone and never had a soul coming over. It wasn't the case that she did not have friends. But she preferred being by herself.

As she brought back her attention to the books lying around, she took the one in her hand, brought it near her face and felt it against her skin. The familiarity felt good. But the pages smelt different now after so many years. Those were the collection of the journals she wrote. She flipped through it till she came across empty pages. She now observed something that made her chuckle. There was not a single book which was complete. She remembered how every year she started a new journal with a resolution to be regular. But that never happened. There was a new book every year, with few pages filled, now and then.

How similar it was to her life, she mused. She had begun so many things, but finished none. The adage 'Jack of all trades, master of none' seemed to suit her aptly! She shook her head and looked towards Masha again. She was still hiding, giving the seeker a tough time.

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And then Manisha looked inside her house and now she was the one freaking out. She was doing exactly the same thing, wasn't she? She was hiding too, like she had done all her life. Only it wasn't Hide n Seek anymore. Cos people had given up seeking on her. She let a very few people into her heart and then they left. More came, more left. And now she did not let anyone in anymore, not in her heart nor in her house! She was scared, and so she hid. Hid in the comfort of her secluded self.

She got up from her place, and went inside her house and strolled about. Her things were all neatly organized. It was a beautiful place. But she did not feel comfortable living in her house anymore. It had always been empty, only now she FELT it. The emptiness crawled onto her like a long cold snake. It sent shivers down her spine. It was time now, she told herself, it was time she completed her journal, it was time she seeked! 

With that, she looked back into the woods through her window and saw Masha being found from her hiding place. It was her turn to seek now, Manisha saw the scared look on the little one's face. As though she could suddenly sense someone watching her, she turned towards Manisha. The helpless innocent eyes on Manisha now, she knew she had got a second chance, for Masha was only a fragment of the memories of her childhood. She took a deep breath and mouthed at her eight year old self, "We'll get through this, i promise!"

The memories which someday i will tag as PRICELESS.

My renewed interest in blogging got myself a side-job as an Editor in manipalblog.com.
And here is my second post in this site, first as an editor... ;)

With just a little more than two months of college life left, before stepping into the corporate world, nostalgia is hitting me already. How i'll miss these college days! Sigh!

The usual hangout places, the spots where we have stood forever fooling around, the class-rooms, the canteen, the various food joints, the theatres, the roller-coaster rides on the city buses etc etc – yes, they will all be missed. Because these might not be significant landmarks, but these are the places that made the memories we’ll carry along with our baggage as we bid goodbye… to each other, and to the place which became our second home! The memories which will some day in future, transport us back to the land where magic once dwelled.

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Read the full post right here -> The memories which someday you will tag as PRICELESS.

People will come, people will go… We came, and we’ll leave… we’ll never be the same again, while the globe in the fountain at Tiger Circle will still keep turning, probably with the hope that what goes around comes around, or in apt words – with a hope that those WHO go around will come back around! Amen.

Enjoy the bliss of peace... as long as it lasts!

Sometimes in the pandemonium that surrounds me, i abruptly switch into the mode where i hear nothing, feel nothing, say nothing. It's a welcome blankness which gives me the occasional void i very much need. Don't we all? Sometimes there are so many things we are dealing with, wouldn't we give anything to feel a total black out? No, not by the aid of alcohol or drugs, but naturally. 

But this feeling is not something i get when and where i want. It just creeps into me when i reach a saturation point, drains out all the thoughts from my head and leaves me exhausted. In those moments i feel my energy flow off gradually till i'm literally empty. It's an emptiness which is not sad, cos every emotion finds it way out of the system. All that's left is relief. The relief of not having to think or feel.

It doesn't last very long. But these are the times, that helps me gain a new perspective. These are the moments where we have to be really careful. When we are lucky to have an empty mind, it's upto us to fill it with fresh improved thoughts or the same old ones. It's a choice we have to make. It's a blessing in disguise. The rest of our days depends on the thoughts and things we choose to think, until we're lucky enough to receive yet another black out. So it's wise to sort the thoughts, filter the unwanted ones out, and choose only the positive, happy ones to get inside. 

During these instants there is no feeling of connection what-so-ever with anyone or anything, dead or alive. The only connection is with yourself. We are so busy all the time trying to connect to people, we end up totally out of synch with ourselves. Probably this is one of the reasons for these occasional solitudes. To feel connected with our inner consciousness. I realized that our need to have people to care about us is just an illusion we create. In reality, we are always alone. The illusion helps us get through a lot of things cos we tend to channel their energy into us. But again, it's just a phantasy. We get so caught up and attached, that we refuse to believe it's been us, on our own, all along!

We're human, and accepting and implementing these ideal facts are not a piece of cake. All we can do is remind ourselves now and then, so that it makes things easier. I got one of those drifting experiences today, out of nowhere, in the middle of nothing. When it passed out, i was left with a dead empty smile as i let go of more botherations. It ended with the acceptance of some bitter truths and happy hopes. It strangely didn't feel happy or sad, but just empty! Right now, i wish to shut out all the lights and sounds around me and enjoy the bliss of peace... as long as it lasts. 

Silence is for what i crave,

So I prayed in midst of the chaotic grave.

In answer, I found death lying on the pave,

But I had to be alive to be brave.

Adopt kids... Let the born 'live' the life they've been given.

I heard the mini drum roll of tiny feet as they came running, giggling, and competing to reach the door first to open it up for us. But none could reach the latch at the top of the faded blue grilled door. We saw them squinting their eyes as their curious little faces glowed with the sun right behind us. For a moment inside my head, I was inside with them, and then when I looked out, I saw only dark figures. But they didn't need to see our faces. They knew it was us all along.

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From the first time we visited the Orphanage, we knew this was a place we would come back to, over and again. The cute innocent faces were magnets. When I looked at them, I couldn't help feeling sorry. I wondered how it must be to grow up without having a parent around, and the next moment I didn't want to know. It was a sinking feeling. I wished none of these kids had to live like this. I wished none of them had to feel the feeling that I refused to even imagine!

When asked, we found out that some kids are those whose parents died when they were young and had no family known left behind. Some others had families, but no one stepped up to take care of them or they themselves admitted the kids in the orphanage. Then there were those little abandoned infants, who were usually left behind in dustbins, temples, and hospitals. Unmarried mothers are usually the cause for this, who are shamed by our society, which doesn't let them rear their babies even if they want to. With the fear of harm to the baby on holding on to them, most are forced to give up on them hoping and praying that they'll end up into some good hands.

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But not all orphans get lucky, do they? Some kids are adopted, some taken away and their innocence misused, and the rest, well... they spend their life forced to believe that the orphanage is their home and family, and live there till they grow up and move out, only to make place for more. I have wondered what these kids go through when they see other kids with their mother and/or father. I'm surprised they still continue to believe in the higher power. How many times might they have looked up and asked God the question, "Why me?!". It's sad, it's unfair, and something really unfortunate.

This being one part of the post, there's one more I have to mention before moving on to my views on adoption. I have this theory, as weird as it might sound to you, that people from this moment should stop having babies. We all know this is kalyug. There are lots of theories that hint at destruction of the earth in the near future. When I say 'near future', I don't necessarily mean December 2012. But, it's evident that the earth is to see its end soon. And if that happens, there is going to be chaos and suffering when death looms over all the people alive.

And I ask myself, would I willingly want to face this natural wrath? And my answer is most certainly NO. But I have no choice since I'm not suicidal! But the babies who haven't yet been created have a way to escape this. And that way is by not bringing them into this life. Say, the earth is still fine when my time comes and I die a natural death. But would I die in peace knowing what awaits my little baby? Of course not! Wouldn't I then blame myself for befalling it on the baby. They did not ask for this life. We bring them on this earth for our own selfish reasons. To be happy. But would we be happy subjecting the little ones to these totally unavoidable mundane affairs of the world?

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Instead, there are so many little kids out there who are already born, abandoned, lonely, and have no one to look up to or call someone their family. Why not open our arms wide to these helpless kids, adopt them and make their life a happy one? Does true love for a baby be necessarily blood related? I don't think so. This way you are giving a new life to an already born baby, instead of giving new life to an unborn. I know this topic is a debatable one. But this has been my view for a long time now.

...We had spent quite some time with the little angels and the cute demons, and then it was time to leave. The highlight of the day for me was when a little boy, Krishna, who never came to any girl for a reason I fail to comprehend, finally came to me as I prepared to leave. I took him in my arms, and at that moment I knew what I wanted out of my future. I knew the baby of my life was still unborn, but would be born to someone, somewhere, someday, and I knew my destiny would lead me to the little one, in probably one of the many orphanages in the world. 

Having said that, I pray God to give me the courage to actually implement this plan in future when it is Time. Tathastu.

"I love you already! ", it whispered in my dream twice,

"I love you too my baby! ", I replied still closing my eyes.

"I'm scared you wont find me", it whispered more closer.

I smiled, "Don't worry sweetheart, we are meant to be together".

Book review : Urban Shots - Crossroads

Book title : Urban Shots - Crossroads
Edited by : Ahmed Faiyaz
Publisher : Grey Oak Publishers in association with westland.ltd

I got to lay my hands on this book when i was delivered one as a part of a Book Review program. I applied for it after reading the following Overview of the book, that looked quite appealing, like a slice out from our not-so-daily lives.

Edited by bestselling author,  Ahmed Faiyaz, this anthology explores the conflict, chaos and confusion in the lives of interesting and colourful characters in Urban India. The reclusive kid with a beautiful bicycle; a migrant to Mumbai with Old Monk on his breath, trying to get off a Virar Fast at Borivali; the misunderstood watchman at the library who befriends a little girl; a playstation loving spoilt brat, who is smitten by his mathematics tutor; an old widower who longs for some intimacy with the opposite sex; a confused writer who has to choose between his wife and a seductress; the gargoyle who is the boss’s pet at a call centre; a mild-mannered doctor whose love for yoga puts him on breaking news; a project manager who hates handing out the pink slip; an emotionally scarred woman in the bazaars of Kamathipura; the baraat on a silent night in a one-horse town in Rajasthan; the neighbourhood didi with dark secrets of her own and a lot more….

I seem to be coming across this name - Ahmed Faiyaz, quite a lot these days. I have to admit i haven't heard about this author before, but after reading the book i realized he seems to be doing quite good in this industry. This book Urban Shots - Crossroads, is a compilation of 30 stories written by 26 different authors. I haven't heard of any of them till now. But i learned many of them are popular bloggers and some others, debutant writers.

Well, when i began the book, i was not very impressed with the stories. But as i read on, the whole urban life kinda opened up to me, and reality seeped in. These days when we are so caught up in reading books that give us what we want to read, this book came as a pleasant change. I'm sure most people can relate to atleast a story or two from in here. It is kinda the story of our lives, put together.

The characters are what you will find in your everyday life. Some stories fail to make an impact, while some absolutely stand out. My favorite being The Gap by Saritha Rao. The story Crossroads by Ahmed Faiyaz, the editor himself was something you come across in movies. But i realized this is how urban life really is! The book is a reality check. It shakes off all your presumptions about the happy poster people in huge comfortable mansions in the urban cities. Mindgames by Manisha Dhingra was an interesting read. Pity by Paritosh Uttam felt closest to common reality.

Over all, a good read. If you want entertainment and humor, i would not recommend this book. But if you want a reality check, and know that your problems are not the biggest and every family other than yours is not the happiest, then go for this book. All folks have a life, not less complicated than your own.

Cost : Rs.199
Pages : 217
My rating : 3 on 5



This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books! 

On my birthday, twenty two years back...

   

        I struggled my way out of death,
       To come out and turn blue.

       I looked at their teary face,
       And i just knew... 

            I would always to 'em be true.

I did not open my eyes, but i knew it was dark around me. I had been hearing a lot of voices, totally muffled... for a while now. I did not understand what it was, or what it meant. Total confusion surrounded me. But there was one noise or voice i could relate with the best. It was kind, loving and soothing. It spoke to me all the time. I wanted to answer something back, but i couldn't. Did anyone even know i'm in here? I wasn't sure of my existence myself.

I wondered how long it would take before i could open my eyes. I was bored. I just floated about all day. There was one person who never left me alone. It wasn't long before i realized i'm within her. Must be the effect of the badams she ate everyday for me. I could think..! Day by day, the bond grew closer. I knew her routine. I knew when she was happy, and when she was sad. I knew when she was excited, and when she was stressed. But all i could do was feel. When she was happy, she told me nice stories. I tried imagining what she told me, but i did not know what she was referring to. I just knew it made me feel good.

Sometimes i did not feel good for no reason. Then i guessed she must be sad too. I did not like it when people made her sad. I did not like it when she worked with me inside. It stressed her, but she did it anyway. When she was sad, she shed tears. She thought she cried alone, but she forgot i was there too. Her tears frustrated me. I felt trapped. I wanted to get out and tel her everything is going to be alright just like that other person always told her. I realized that person must mean a lot to her. Cos he tried connecting to me too. He spoke to me a lot in the evening when he came back. But then he would go missing for hours together. I did not understand why he had to go, cos when he was around he made her laugh.. and that made me feel happy.

That day i could hear her sob, and i knew he wasn't around.. that good man. I was helpless. I was frustrated and i kicked! Immediately the sobbing stopped. I could feel something cupping against me from the outside. So i kicked again. There was a sense of happiness and excitement outside. It felt great. I kicked yet again. And i could feel the tearful smile that crept on her face. Since then, every time she felt sad, i knew how to make my presence felt. I just kicked!

This unspoken, unseen bond grew stronger over the time until it was that day. Twenty two years back on this day, i found my way to escape the darkness. I realized it was time. But something stopped me. She was in pain, and i had to get out soon to relieve her. The cord joining me and her, the tube i got my yummy stuff from had wound around my neck three times!!! I must have moved around a lot in there. Every time i tried getting out, the cord squeezed my neck and pulled me back into the cozy shelter i had spent 9 long months in.

Being the fighter that i am, i did not give up. I could not. I had to be fine. I couldn't let that good woman cry more. Nor did i want the good man to console her while he felt sad too. She screamed in pain, while i fought my way through death. Finally after a long day, and innumerous attempts i took my first breath, and opened my eyes. The miracle happened! I was alive! I looked at her pale sweaty face. The angel. Then and there i promised myself to be the strength she never had, to be the power she never gained, to be the happiness she never felt, to give her the life she never lived, to bring her the smile she would never wipe off her lovely face.

I kept looking until i was carried and cleaned, and handed over to another person. The way he looked at me, i just knew this was the good man. The one to whom i connected to without the need of an umbilical cord. Our connection was much deeper, we connected through the love in our blood. His face showed me what happiness really looks like. I have never seen a person more happier and proud. He beamed so much i had to close my eyes! Before i could open 'em again to see the whole beauty of the situation, something happened and i turned blue.

Lack of oxygen... That's what happened! All the squeezing around my neck turned me into a Blue Baby. Soon after replenishing me with just enough amount of oxygen, i was all pink and went blink, blink, blink! I became the talk of the hospital, the lucky Blue Baby who fought her way outta death. It was all worth the happy tears from her eyes as she held me close to her bosom, and he held her. Today after twenty two long years, it's the First of March. It's my birthday. A day which always begins with Mom and Dad narrating the whole dreaded cum happy experience and ends with lots of Thanks to God.

On this day, I'm so thankful for the life i've got, the people i've met, the lessons i've learned and the folks i'll meet. For the friends i haven't met, Cheers!