There is always a subject so very dear to you, that you cannot write nor talk about it. You know all the words, they flow out of your mouth like the glimmering water from the tap, but then when you open your mouth, there is silence. The moment passes and you lock it in again, careful enough to never bring it up again, until someone/something finds the key and then there is a an uproar! An uproar of unsaid words and unseen emotions.
What when that which opened the lock is the one to close it all in again? It's like freeing a bird from the cage, teaching it to enjoy freedom, and just when it is ready to fly high, you lock it back again. It's like forcing a vegetarian into being a non-veggie and then asking him to never eat meat again! There you are, locked up all over again, and this time you don't have the key either. You don't know who/what is going to find it.. you don't know when it is going to be found.. you don't even know whether it'll be found at all!
I wish to write, but my hands refuse to type. My heart is speaking, but my mind refuses to listen. There are times when i wish something.. anything.. went the way i planned it to go. Sometimes the magical spark disappears, and there's just a plain world out of my window. The moon, the stars, the music, the lights.. nothing helps!
The sunset moves on to welcome twilight, and i'm wondering... the twilight bids goodbye at the arrival of the night, and i'm still wondering. I wonder how it would be if i just slept and woke up the next day to find out my dreams were not dreams, they are true. What if dreams turned out to be the reality and reality was just a long horrible nighmare? Will you please wake me? Probably that is the key to my lock, so wake me up, i've been sleeping a long long time now.
I dream of a world not very different from this,
But with more laughter and less tears.
While stuck deep in this harsh reality crisis,
Often there is less relief and more fears.